Female Orgasm: The Yoga of Creativity
I recently read “Vagina” by Naomi Wolf. It’s a biography about the physical, allegorical, and scientific link between women’s vaginas, their creativity and sense of self. I was riveted; sitting on the subway with the word, “VAGINA”, splashed brazenly across the front of a giant hardcover. There were parts that made me squirm (the link between rape in war and taking of a person’s soul), it made me cry, it made me curious (female artists throughout history creating their best works when they were having certain kinds of orgasm), and it made me feel like there was so much to learn about the beautiful gates of humanity that each woman on the planet holds delicately between her thighs. What power! What glory! What a head scratcher.
In the book, Wolf searches for the link between vaginal pleasure and pain and a woman’s role in humanity. She writes:
Female sexual pleasure, rightly understood, is not just about sexuality, or just about pleasure. It serves, also, as a medium of female self-knowledge and hopefulness; female creativity and courage; female focus and initiative; female bliss and transcendence; and as medium of a sensibility that feels very much like freedom. To understand the vagina properly is to realize that it is not only coextensive with the female brain, but is also, essentially, part of the female soul.
As I learned about this link, especially biologically, I began to think of where my own orgasm stood socially as well as personally in the world.
For as long as I could access porn, I’ve never really bought into the idea that these women love being pounded in ways where only their vagina’s are being stimulated. Intuitively it seemed very male to me. And here was a book by a famed author confirming exactly what I had always felt. However, until I read it, I just thought something was wrong with me. Shouldn’t I want to be penetrated on blast by a man I barely knew who didn’t even kiss me? Surely ALL these thousands of women couldn’t be wrong? But the more I read about orgasms, the more the evidence remained the same: women need more lead up to have the kind of orgasms that really count. Sure you can get off, but what about tapping into the universal yes?!
I am approaching 40, and my personal experience is that, yes, the orgasms get a lot better as I get older. Like a lot a lot better. And I don’t think it’s just biologically. There’s more internally at play now. Sure, my lovers have gotten better from the time I was 18 and fumbling around in the dark with an equally inexperienced male, but mentally I have matured. I am a more confident person who loves my body so much more than I did then. I am less intent on doing things “right” for my partner and more interested in enjoying another human being’s vulnerability in the sack. I also like dating, and the older I get, the more it seems that men genuinely want to get to know me before making a move. All these little non-sexual steps lend themselves to a much longer, richer and more mind boggling orgasm.
But wait…there’s more.
This idea that there is a link between a woman’s creative potential and her orgasm has stuck with me since I turned the last page. And I have been taking stock in my own life. It might not be exciting by a societal standard, but I’ve noticed if I am having regular (just to be clear, regular means daily) sex with the same partner then I seem to function so much better at work and in my life. I find myself completing a week’s worth of tasks days before I had anticipated. I might be arriving late or even exhausted to my desk, but my creative energy is boundless. I am more available for friends, I am able to focus much better at work and I seem to crave less sugar, tobacco and socializing. The machinery of my soul along with my mind seem to be much better oiled.
If yoga is the union of breath and body, then orgasm must fall in their somewhere no? It’s not written about much in the texts, but the yoga of female ecstasy (not just tantra) has got to be the ultimate union of the seed with the universe. It’s one part pranayama exercise, one part asana and all meditation.
My only question now is, how can I spread this revelation to my sisters of the planet? the old adage seems to ring true: happy vagina’s make a happy world.